Dec 21, 2007

Top Ten Reasons NOT To Date a SuperHero

10. Wearing your pajamas in public is not acceptable!



9. Repeating your "life stories" umpteen dozen times to hear your own voice is annoying.



8. Complaining about every little detail of your job, even when good things happen to you, is depressing. If your only solution is to skip work that day, then your lack of responsibility is showing. Especially if you do it often...



7. What a difference a month makes. What happened to the articulate guy I was talking to. That first impression did not last long did it. I am so sorry, but I cannot stand to engage in another conversation which consists of more curse words than it does actual words in the dictionary. I am so sorry that F*#K is your favorite word.....Once again, not impressive. In fact, it makes me cringe.



6. When I tell you about my weeks journey and some of the pitfalls I have encountered, I am curious as to how you would have handled it. Your replies as amazing! The fact that you would do everything in your power to be a jerk and infuriate the customer leaves me gasping for air. No wonder my customers love me so. I handle things with grace and tact, throwing in a little charm and a lot of patience. You, on the other hand, would dump the freight in their parking lot, thus damaging it and tell them to go eff themselves... You would then be fired! Ummm, I think my way works soooo much better.



5. OMG..... You have never paid child support?! Way to go , Superman!! Yeah, that is cool that they are garnishing your wages for unpaid support. Once again, your lack of responsibility is shining!!



4. I did not need to know that you had already met the perfect woman and had two children with her. That after seven years, she still remains the perfect woman although she left you. Well, actually, I do appreciate this information because I will never be perfect and you are in so much denial if you continue to say you are over her.



3. I cannot believe we spent an entire weekend getting you made over. Grooming and new suit, WOW, you looked nice! But to tell me that you did it all for your 3 year old daughter is bullshit. I happen to know that 3 year old could care less what their parents are wearing... Hmmm, could it be perhaps that the three year old's mother is the perfect woman? I believe you mentioned that already. So tell me again just who it is that you are trying to impress?




here is where it really blows my mind





2. I cannot believe the greatest story you have to tell, is the time you were on JERRY SPRINGER.... as a guest on stage.





and the number one reason to not date a superhero





Because the story on Jerry Springer WAS based on actual events.





When Superman and I started dating, it looked very promising... He was articulate, and mannered. Very thoughtful and funny. After a month, he confided in me that there were probably some things about him that I would not like. He then proceeded to enlighten me as to several of the items on the above list... I sat there with my jaw hanging open and stated that some of the things he had mentioned would have been nice to know up front. He remarked, "But then you would not have went out with me."



You got that right!! But not to be judgemental, I decided to let things simmer for a week before I made my final decision. I did not want to judge him for his past, if he was trying to rise above it!



The next week he unloaded the rest of the story. His vocabulary went to shit.. Literally.... Every third word was an expletive. His general reaction to everything took on a twisted and harsh outlook. I just couldn't take it anymore... See Ya!!



I am not sure if he started acting this way and revealing those appalling secrets because it was just part of who he is, or if it had anything to do with the fact that the perfect woman had just moved back into the state. Either way, I have gladly decided to move forward without him in my life....

Oh yeah, this ended several weeks ago... Well, the last time we saw each other was in November, when he cleaned out the closet....... figuratively speaking, of course.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

dang, i was rooting for you, kid. sorry it turned out that way.

Indy said...

One word (I know you understand Strine a bit)



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