The Last Straw

My last post was written in Mt Jackson, Virginia. I had decided to wait on AA, who was only a few hours behind me. I figured as long as we were running together, I might not be so volatile in regards to the behavior of my truck. I was more than willing to wait, even though it would require a 12 hour break. If you know me at all, you should be well aware that I do not linger..The second I am able to roll, I am gone. So this should reveal how distraught I was.

We proceeded south first thing Wednesday morning. Surprisingly, even though the noise was still unbearable, the performance was up to par. I still maintain that I was having injector cup problems but they seem to have reseated themselves after the engine cooled off. Such as the first telltale signs of cups going bad. We made it 200 miles before parting ways. During this time, AA complained that his truck was not running efficiently. My spare was racing down the interstate like hell on wheels. But as soon as we parted company, the truck I was driving decided enough was enough. I immediately began to have performance problems again. I later joked with AA that his truck was having sympathy pains for me.

The next 400 miles had me dropping gears like crazy, pulling my empty wagon over the crest of tiny mounds, that normally offer no resistance even with the heaviest of loads. I could barely do the speed limit of the flat stretches.

I finally made it back to the plant and was feeling so dismal, that I just about lost it when I did the final write-up before turning the truck back into maintenance. It was after hours, so I had no one to yell at.

First I noticed that the previous driver had not been turning in any of his write-ups. How are the mechanics supposed to fix anything if they don't know it is broken?

Next, I noticed the previous driver's write-ups were marked NO DEFECTS. How can this be, if even the Stooges knew to tell me that the truck had problems.

The previous driver was The Mayor....This is the second time I have followed him into a truck. This is the second time his write-ups were not turned in to maintenance. This is the second time his write-ups were bull-shit and left me driving faulty equipment.

So I wrote up everything I could remember ( I did forget to mention the inverter did not work, but I am sure someone else will figure that out, maybe even the effing Mayor..) And before saying my farewells, I had a little fun !!

This picture was suppose to show the carelessness of previous drivers, with the broken pieces, but it you look closer, you will notice I did a little 10 wheel mudding to alleviate my rage.

On Friday, I received the news that Frankentruck is back in action, with a shiny new motor donated by Volvo. I am going to test this motor, and I am pretty sure any small glitches I stumble upon will be more readily acceptable than to continue to endure what I have already become accustomed to . Thank God this is over!!

Enclosed you will find a short clip I produced to show you just how miserable this week has been. WARNING...when you get to the portion that says OUTSIDE THE TRUCK, you may want to turn your volume down. I did not alter these noises at all. This is what I dealt with all week. The last segment of the video is so you can hear how terribly the engine was performing. ENJOY!!

With those noises and performance, the traffic issues I encountered seemed somewhat trivial...Well, except for the embarrassment factor.

PA Toll Booth I-78 (3 mile back-up)

Bruckner Expressway, Bronx, New York @ 1pm

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Twenty Ten

Hello Friends and Happy New Year.

I suppose now would be the perfect time to reflect upon last year and see where I have landed.

First, although I had high hopes of becoming more fit, seems I have let that resolution slip through my grasp. But then, don't most resolutions fall by the wayside rather rapidly. With nearly an entire year of physical problems, I only managed to run/walk for a total of 389.26 miles. I added in a stationary bike (deciding to go the no impact route) late in the year and accumulated another 229 miles on it. In 2010, my goal will be to ride no less than 3000 miles... Seems like a huge jump, but in reality, it is very attainable.

The year in Trucking has been a prosperous one, with so many other drivers losing their jobs to a slow economy. I am now 6th in seniority, which doesn't hurt my feelings at all. I have struggled to get comfortable with my truck, due to exhaust leaks and uncomfortable seats, but in the end...I am still very confident that I am at no risk of losing my job, so the rest kind of seems irrelevant. I will be climbing back into Frankentruck on January 3rd to test out a new motor, courtesy of Volvo...Seems they are adding a little sugar to my lemons.

Financially I am better off, but I think emotionally I may have taken a step backwards. This year was spent in a very subdued and tense state. I do not like suppressing my tension, because inevitably, it always affects those near and dear to me. But it affects me the most, and I am very good at not showing my cracks...Believe me though, I am cracking!! I already have plans made to eliminate most of this tension. Plus, another trip to Disney World in the Spring should help out.

The jury is still out as to whether or not I made last year count. Kind of a depressing reality check, in fact. I did make some new friends, lost a few friends, and had some friendships stall out. I really need to work at keeping in touch with people, but it is sometimes difficult to over come the influences of your earlier years, so that is one I will have to prioritize.

Guess that about sums it up, back to that reality check....ugh!!

Well, I thought I should at least stop by to Welcome the New Year to my Blog. With that done, I look forward to a very prosperous and rewarding 20-10. 10-4

Gentlemen, Place Your Bets

Whew, I made it through the week without yelling at too many people. It was nice and warm, but I did get a few cooler nights, so I tried to do alot of driving after dusk. With my route, that is nearly impossible.

The floor drain was repaired, so my socks are nice and dry, but there seems to be an exhaust problem developing. I wouldn't be scared to say the flex pipe under my sleeper has a split in it somewhere, because after a short time driving, my entire sleeper floor is as hot as Georgia Asphalt. I have noticed that the floor does get a little warmer in hot weather, but I am referring to such intense heat that you cannot stand on it without shoes on, and even with shoes, you risk melting the soles! Seriously, the little strip of metal that separates carpet from rubber is too hot to touch. I burned my little foot!!

Oh well. I think I maintained a good attitude throughout the week, unless you consider the stress I deal with each and every time I fly through South Carolina. Out of all the states I travel through, SC gives me the biggest headache and my temperament for this stretch of road elevates to the level of (see blog title) anger! I loathe it with utter disdain.* We (SC and I) have a long sorted history. I am working to not this scenario get to me soooooo much, so this week, a friendly little wager was placed . I was to attempt to drive the 150 miles from Charlotte, North Carolina, to the Georgia border without losing my cool. First you must understand, I HATE this corridor. The rules of the wager included that I was to not make a single gesture that resulted from the way the idiots around me were behaving. Whether they (the others) were aware of it or not. No fingers gestures, no flashing lights, no horn blowing, no muttering insanity over the CB (yes, the truck drivers here are afflicted too) and no grumbling under my breath or at the top of my lungs.

I could have very well lied about my behavior, but I owned up to my failure. Within 31 miles, I smarted off to an idiot on the radio. And a mere 17 miles later a four wheeler got the best of me. Both incidents were reflex, and I alerted Shadow immediately. I have failed miserably.

For my payment, I will be required to wear a certain article of clothing while driving through the state, until I can rein in my reactions and somewhat adjust my attitude. **

And just for the record, I only hold contempt for this short passage. I can face NYC gridlock with a song in my heart and kind words abounding. I suppose I expect traffic to get a little nasty up north, after all, they only have 3 lanes in each direction... Other Cities, where the interstates can get up a total of 16 lanes wide, there is no rhyme or reason to the madness.

* I am not saying that people who live in South Carolina are idiots, just the people who drive there!!

** The shirt is PINK, not my favorite color!!

Because I'm Worth It

I had a very lovely surprise fall into my lap today. Well, I actually knew about it yesterday, but did not know the details.

I was issued a cryptic message, " Be at this address, at this time!! or else!!"

Okay, maybe it was not quite so foreboding.In fact, it was a actually a gift from a friend. I spent two luxurious hours at a local day spa. Something I have never done for myself. I was treated to a 20 minute soak in a hydrotheraputic mud bath. Oh boy, when those jets hit my shoulders, it was bliss. Next I was pampered with an hour long full body massage.

I could get use to this!!

Everything was taken care of and all I had to do was relax. It was the nicest gesture I have received in a very long time. No strings attached, just because......

It was so enjoyable, in fact, that I intend to make regular visits. The lady who was working on me discovered some very intense knots around my shoulder blades, and I nearly jumped off the table when she began to work on them. I think after another dozen visits ( now, I am just getting greedy) I could get all those kinks worked out.

Thanks Shadow!!

Have You Ever...

*Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands?

Closed your eyes and trusted. Just trusted?

Have you ever thrown a fistful of glitter in the air?

Have you ever looked fear in the face and said ' I just dont care' ?

It's only half past the point of no return

The tip of the iceberg, The sun before the burn

The thunder before the lightning, the breath before the phrase

Have you ever felt this way?

Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?

Your whole life waiting on the ring to prove your not alone

Have you ever been touched so gently, you had to cry?

Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?

Have you ever wished for an endless night?

Lassoed the moon and stars and pulled that rope tight

Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself,

will it ever get better than tonight?

Have you ever felt stagnant? That is how I am feeling right now. Stagnant, and well, as if life is just passing me by. I want to go. I want to see. I want to do. But mostly, I think I want to .............love, er um.... I mean live.

I have numerous conversations with people this week about getting stuck in a rut/routine. One fellow has moved frequently and always returns "home". The other packs up all his belongings and moves every 3 years. I wish I had this kind of courage. Because right now, I just feel like I am living the same week, over and over...

Sorry folks, just going through a mild depression.....

* "Glitter In The Air" written and performed by P!nk

Maggie Mae

Last week when I turned Frankentruck over to the shop, I was told I would be taking Maggie out for a spin this week.  I felt very little apprehension about saddling her up again because she supposedly had her exhaust components replaced. Maggie is the truck who poisoned me with her exhaust to the point that I had absolutely no comprehension of where I was at....I was in Atlanta, a city I lived near and have driven through thousands of times.

The good news is that she did not have her exhaust problems repaired because  some MAN said she had a leak. The bad news, she did not have her exhaust problems repaired, at all. Grrrrrr!!

This trip has done nothing but fuel my animosity towards  several individuals and create even more tension in my muscles, and I have not even made my first delivery. Fourteen in all this week.

You see, the problem is once I took hold of the reins, it was immediately obvious that she had numerous defects. I do not care to mention what they are, but I will say that I am having to be extremely conscientious of every move I make, as well as every move that is being  made around me. I do this as a normal course of action, every week. But this week, my vigilance is tenfold.  

I have always known that Maggie was a problem child. I have written a book of repair requests. I finally threw in the towel, and washed my hands of her on March 19th.....

Since that time, she has been driven approximately 17,000 miles. The Mayor had custody of her for two weeks, during which time he had called me to confirm every negative thing I had ever said about her.  He had her for two weeks.  And during this two week period, he never once gave her one bad mark on his daily inspections. NOT ONE!!  

Needless to say, when I climbed aboard to take her for a trip into New England, I absolutely came unglued to find out that not a single thing has been repaired since the very last time I set my arse in her driver's seat. I had left a write-up of 4 very important safety repairs on March 19th. None of which have been addressed.

I give the mechanics a substantial amount of written abuse based on their inability to make the necessary repairs, but if drivers don't not bother to write up defects, just how much blame actually belongs to the mechanics.  Sure, they do not address my needs....For that, I have my grievances....But the Mayor had Maggie for two weeks and gave her a clean bill of health every day. 

Essentially, I gave up Frankentruck for critical  repairs, only to get back into the deathtrap  that is Miss Maggie Mae.  I am  absolutely astonished that the Mayor could be so negligent. But then,  a lot of drivers are. 

And yes, I do have the exhaust headache, which tends to make me very hostile. And for the record, driving with the windows down does keep the cab air clean, but even at 15 mph, you smell exhaust IN the truck. I am absolutely livid at this point, so I should just publish this post and be done with it......

If anybody has a spare set of shoulders I can rest my weary head on, I will be more than happy to pay for postage....

Schedule Of Events

Last night, I attempted to write a blog post, and after 5000 words and a few more tears, I realized that I could not find the words to clarify what was happening or my emotional state of being. Instead, I offered a few sentences to try to alleviate my mental torment. Neither worked. I erased the long diatribe and fell into a confused stupor as to the "how's" and "whys" this was happening to me.

My best friend offered as much solace as was possible, but encouraged me to just sleep on it. Tomorrow will take care of itself and worrying about it another night would do me no good. 

This morning, the course of action was to be as follows.  Allow my favorite company mechanic in Tennessee,  to go over the small issues and hopefully make a few repairs. Then head over to Volvo for the major issues. Finally, I would drive down to our Local Big Company Shop to have the remaining trivial tasks attended to.  I could not get all repairs completed at any one shop. The first shop deals with day cab units and I assume would not be capable of helping with the issues involving the inverter (as they have no sleeper trucks with inverters) I was fine with letting him do what he could. The Volvo shop was to only handle the warranty work and computer issues. The big Company shop would have to pick up the remaining slack.

So, this morning, I awoke to find out that my favorite company mechanic was on vacation this week. I almost immediately felt like just throwing  in the towel, but I was encouraged to head on over to Volvo and at least get started on the road to repair.

Upon arriving, I immediately felt the dark clouds begin to part and could sense a little relief in sight. Nothing happened, just started feeling relieved that this would all be over soon. I had made the comment to several people this week, that I would be willing to stay in a motel for as many days as it took to just be finished with all of this. So, after 6 hours, I was informed that I had 2 choices......Take the truck somewhere else to have the work completed, or camp out while they ordered a part.

I am sitting here at the HOJO Inn and drinking some really horrible coffee. BUT....I should be rolling again by noon tomorrow. I sincerely had no intentions of spending my personal time in a motel, guess I should have kept my big mouth shut. The boss did offer me several options, but I remarked that the sooner this is over, the better. I do not want to swap trucks, I do not want to drive a day cab, I do not want the local monkeys retrieving my truck. I do not want to wait any longer.  I want this finished.  

The best news of all......I have been given permission to let Volvo repair everything.....Seeing as how they were going to have Frankentruck overnight anyways.

I have the utmost confidence that when my beast is returned to me, I shall be able to perform my job with no more dilemmas for awhile. Truthfully, this is the closest I have come to having some sort of breakdown. Even my best friend remarked that they had never seen me this down for this long....And over a truck.....or three.....

I just want to thank a few of you for the emails and support you have offered to me. The virtual hugs and such, if you will.... Just think, your kind words may have spared a mechanic his life.....But seriously......Gabby, John, Ian, Doug, John, Andy, Paula, Billy, Eric,  and any others I may have forgot to mention.............. THANK YOU!!

Where Was I At...

Oh yeah......back to 2008.

The year finished itself off, but not with the spirit of the Holidays. Instead, the final week at work was a largely frustrating...Lies, steeped atop more lies.... I had no heart to lay this stuff at your feet, dear reader, so I clearly opted out. Let me just say that my final day at work had me ready to tell everyone just where exactly I would like them to kiss me, and it had nothing to do with my smiling face.

Speaking of work, I spent several days during my vacation packing, loading, and hauling most of my personal possessions back to Alabama..Yep, you read that right. But I have not officially made the move. My lease is up at the end of January, so I will be living a somewhat restricted lifestyle out of a bag until then.  At that point, I will begin to commute back and forth until I am comfortable enough to make this transition more permanent.  You would think that this would be very easily accomplished, but I am having second, third, and even fourth thoughts about this decision.

And since we are discussing my erratic thought patterns.. I would just mention that I am one of those who becomes depressed at the Holidays. This has not always been the case. I have only  noticed it  in the more recent years, but combined with moving, making life changing decisions, suffering through deceptions and discontentment with work issues, living out of a suitcase, relocating myself closer to someone who abuses my good~heartedness, lack of Christmas Cheer, and no shoulder to rest my head upon.... I think I have done fairly well for myself. I have not gone crazy.....yet!

As for the New Year, I intend to accumulate more running mileage...That is it!  I make no promises to myself as to making grande resolutions. Just more running, staying fit!

Oh wait....how could I forget to mention this.....

I just spent a week at Walt Disney World......and, yes, I am anxious to get back to the peaceful solitude that is my home away from home, the sites and sounds of a bustling New York City. 

The Sunshine State

I just spoke with my SIL last night and got an unexpected treat.

I have been invited to spend next weekend in Florida.

Yes, I am going down for Labor Day, but why not make the most of a golden opportunity, right?

So, now I get to take two vacations on the Gulf Coast...within a three week period.

I am also thinking that I may use my paid vacation week (I finally earned one after the trucking co swap out erased all my accrued time) for just that... A week away from it all....

Not What It Seems.....

I am feeling a bit depressed at the moment...

It seems a particular male friend of mine is having troubles with his wife. This friend has never crossed any "lines" when it came to our friendship... Nothing was ever said that could have been considered inappropriate...

Well, he has been contacting a bit more frequently...And it has me worried.

Am I so naive? Is it true that men and women can truly never be just friends.. I have always maintained that it was possible. Silly Me!!

I just received a message from him asking me if I would be willing to go get something to eat next time I am in town.. I did NOT respond.

DAMN IT, I think I just lost another friend!! Great, now I have another awkward moment to deal with. And I am really no good at awkward moments, especially when it comes to having to re-explain something that I thought was already understood. I mean sure, maybe he really does just need someone to talk to....but I personally think that should be a male friend.. I ain't getting in the middle of this!!! Grrrrrrr.....

Okay, let me explain something.. This man is not really a true friend.. He is more like a casual acquaintance with whom I exchange witty banter. We don't go out and socialize together... But we are close enough to know details of each others existence outside of the immediate conversation.. You know, just someone with whom you cross paths on a regular basis, and begin to become familiar with. I have known of his wife from Day One.. And I thought their relationship was wonderful... It seemed that way to me!!

This is just something else to frustrate me, until the situation is handled... Which it will be resolved ASAP.... Grrrrrr.......

Can you people please stop dumping stuff in my lap... I really don't need the excessive stress it puts me through, trying to deal with your crap...

Okay, that last statement was really directed at someone else... but if you don't pay attention, I can't help you... Psychiatrist-5 Cents...... Just call me LUCY.

Annoyed IS an Understatement

Everything seems to be going fine.. Life is good. (for the most part) But for some reason......

Everything. Is. Irritating. The. Crap. Out. Of. Me. !!

I cant take much more of this...

Stand Back Folks, She's Gonna Blow!!

You know, there just seems to come a time when you realize that you desperately need a vacation, like 2 months ago.

Well, Monday morning was that time for me.

Why am I so irritable??Could it be the fact that I have not slept well since last Tuesday? May be playing therapist over the phone with someone who refuses to help them self? How about forgetting the fact that Manassas Traffic is an absolute freaking nightmare, even at 5:30 AM. Or the fact that my load starting in DC adds at least one day to my work week, never mind fighting the rest of DC traffic.. Does sitting on the side of the road waiting for tire repair for three hours seem to affect me. Maybe!! Or how about wanting something so bad, that in 20 years it has never left your heart and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it but fantasize.......

Okay, that last one did not really fit in this scenario, or did it????

Does it seem like I am whining incessantly here or what... Maybe just a little bit??

Seems all indicators are pointing to a much needed break.

Really, I am usually one of the nice Truck Drivers. Always courteous and conscious of what is going on around me..

But this morning, at 5am I was so ready to go "Postal" I would have given anything to teach some of the folks a lesson or two...

Can you just imagine little ol me snatching people out of theirs cars and giving them the ol' 1-2 . "Take that, you no blinker using, excessive braking, cutting in and out of traffic to get 10 feet ahead. Why must you ride in my lane with me? Or better yet, why are you only capable of doing 15 mph below the speed limit, that is until I try to pass you. Which results in you accelerating to whatever it takes to keep me behind you only to cut in front of me and once again SLAM on your brakes..... Are you a complete idiot.. Do you not realize that my vehicle weighs the same as Oh, say, about 20 of yours???? HUH And if you will recall, an object in motion (especially one weighing 80 thousand pounds) tends to stay in motion until it meets some sort of friction which in turn will cause it to slow down, and yes my tires on the roadway are resulting in friction, but my little bitty foot is mashing the fuel pedal in to the firewall, so that pretty well eliminates that friction.. And you my friend are not the desired friction either. Just remember, If you really must stop in front of me, I might only be able to slow down...... KaPOW... But if the situation was reversed and I stopped in front of you, well, you would stop instantaneously upon collision... No, I am not trying to threaten you.. All I am saying is GET A CLUE!! "

"Hang up the phone, turnoff the laptop, put away the makeup and just pay a little more attention to what is going on around you!!!! Puhleeeeeeze"

Whew *sighs*. Don't I feel better!! Now what we were talking about again..

Oh, yeah. I am in desperate need of a vacation....And I have 2 planned.. But with the job transfer coming up, I have to forfeit one of my "paid" vacations...So that only leaves one week available, and I absolutely refuse to cancel either excursion, not to mention that I would like to add a few more... I am thinking a nice cruise, or maybe a trip thru the US by rail..... But time is limited, and money is tight, so whats a girl to do??

Hello, ummmm Calgon? Could you please take me away now before the guy shows up with that funny little white coat that has sleeves that wrap around to the back......

Love Connection

I have mentioned before that my mother is a bit overly concerned about my status in life. I had toyed with the idea of creating a fictional boyfriend to ease her concerns a bit, because she cant seem to grasp the fact that I AM OKAY with being single, for now.

So this week I had the opportunity to come across several fellows interested in sharing their phone numbers with me... I graciously accepted the numbers and discreetly shared them with the dumpster.. *hee hee*

Now on a weekly basis I chat with Moms on the phone. During this ritual she occasionally inquires as to whether my status has improved. (Her word, not mine) Because I love a good giggle, I occasionally feed her tidbits of my adventures to get her going... So this week, I was feeling a bit playful and told her of the encounters I had experienced this week. Right on cue, she starts in with the questions.

Do you need a passport to go to Canada? You might think about getting one so you could go to Montreal. (one of the guys was Canadian)
Massachusetts is not too far away, Do you think you could get that load every week? May be you could meet him for dinner once a week.
You might like having a younger man as your boyfriend, it will keep you feeling young (one of them was only about 21-22).

I know, it is rather not nice to tease her in this way. But I gave up long ago trying to explain things outright... And you know what they say, "if you can't beat em.....join em".

So rather than let her disappointment affect my mood, I just go with the flow and get a good laugh out of the response. I do this discreetly , of course.

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way......

I am 34 and single. I am okay with this. However, my mother is NOT. If I happen to mention speaking to someone of the male species, she begins to fantasize about unlimited possibilities (not limited to marriage and children). I find this quite humorous at times, and very invading quite often.

Okay, so I mentioned a week or so ago that I had met one of my new neighbors (a male). He is a firefighter, he had some scars (I presumed from his job), he spoke to me. Anyways, he had invited me to come eat Thanksgiving Dinner with his family. (A nice gesture)

So, this afternoon my mother calls to check in and one of the first things out of her mouth was "So, do you think you could get use to the scars?"

Now let me explain a little further.... This is a neighbor, making a nice gesture, who is 15 years older. Thats all. I am not dating him. I am not sleeping with him.. I am not going to marry him!!!

Let me repeat myself.... I am 34 and single. I AM OKAY WITH THIS....