Tragic Reminders

Not exactly the best week to be blogging about. Oh, there was nothing wrong with the work week itself, but I was reminded to take time and consider all that is important to me. We should all do this more often than we probably do, but life gets busy sometimes.

On Sunday evening while I was making my way towards the Carolina Coast, I witnessed a tragic accident.

As I was progressing eastbound, nearing an entrance ramp, I merged to the left lane to accommodate for oncoming traffic. It was then, as I looked into my mirror that I noticed a huge cloud of dust and debris. As I continued to stare at it, a car came tumbling out of the haze. It was literally doing a barrel roll about 10 foot off of the ground. I watched as it slammed onto the pavement and began to roll again. It finally came to rest in a runoff ditch full of water, sending a spray of liquid nearly 20 feet in the air. This all took place just a few hundred yards behind me in a matter of seconds, but I was still able to see "objects" ejected from the vehicle. I hope and pray those objects were not the occupants of the vehicle. I was shocked into a silence... Immediately I dialed 911 to report the scene and after speaking with the emergency operator, I continued my evening in a quiet contemplative mood.

This for me, is the hardest part about being a truck driver. Facing mortality. I did not know these people, but with the assumption that a life has literally just ended before my eyes, my heart is ripped apart. I grieve for the victims, I grieve for the families, I even grieve for any witnesses who are left with mental scars of what they have just witnessed...

Gratefully, I have not witnessed an excess of fatalities, but then again, isn't even one an excess!

To Everything.. Turn, Turn, Turn

Spring is in the air, my friends and that would make this an excellent time for new beginnings. I have had the luxury of running the air conditioner in the truck on numerous occasions. I have been watching all the new signs of life as the planet slowly wakes up from its Winter slumber... but I have also woke up freezing several times due to sleeping with the truck turned off... Not quite Spring, but I am soooo ready!

And since I am mentioning life refreshing itself, this seems like a perfect time to also mention the ending of things passed. I have been very preoccupied the past few months with emotional upheaval and perhaps just not in the mood to share. My relationship has ended and it was very bitter for me. Deceit and indifference reigned supreme as deciding factors and while I am so much better off, I will not deny that my heart seemingly was ripped out and tossed aside. So the past few months, I have not exactly been myself. I am no longer mourning the loss of this relationship, but it has once again left me questioning people and their motives. People just suck sometimes, but I am slowly returning to the person that my friends adore. This post was not intended as bitter and it is definitely not bittersweet. It is a post of new hopes and awakenings. My eyes are open and I am ready to dig my heels in. Life is waiting !!

What Can I Say

Last week was full of it's ups and downs... What can I say? Such is life...

The week started with apprehension as there was a driver's meeting that was going to introduce a new policy that the company will be putting into place at some point this year. A policy that will inevitably change my life. Sure, change is good, but when that change is forced upon you without your consent, it is very frustrating.

But on the upside, at the meeting which I did not attend, it was also announced that our current Boss was leaving. Once I found this out, my truck seemed to pull better and run faster. Of course, it didn't, but I sailed through Sunday with a huge grin on my face. Most of the drivers are apprehensive that things are going to get worse, but it is my opinion that there is a 50/50 chance it could get better. My only real concern is the lack of professional mechanics, and I don't see that changing anytime soon, so how could it get any worse?

On the downside, I was once again pulling a springride trailer which literally beat me up. I was so sore and frustrated by the end of the week that my vocabulary was largely limited to 4 letter words, and " love" was not one of them. On top of the excruciating ride, the trailer had maintenance issues that have not been addressed. Big surprise there!! Nothing in the way of safety, but rather the simple fact that I could not slide my tandems. If this one issue had been eliminated, I could have smoothed out my ride significantly.

On the upside, I managed to discover a few new shortcuts on some wonderfully scenic two lanes, and that always lifts my spirits.

On the downside, the list is seemingly endless.. With all the personal frustrations I am going through right now, the physical abuse I am enduring in the truck just seems to magnify the fragility of my emotional state. Hopefully, as I work through all of this, I will come out on the other side on Cloud Nine.... I miss it up there.

It's All in the Timing

Yes, I am a truck driver. Yes, I do my fair share of complaining about certain things that occur in my day, career, life, etc....

One of the things I do not understand about other drivers, is the constant need to complain about traffic conditions, congestion in certain areas of the country, weather and accident delays. Really? How long have you been driving, Driver?

So you can imagine my delight when I am able to scoot through certain areas with minimal or no delays, just because I know a few tricks of the trade. For example...New York City, one of the most dreaded locations for a driver to be sent into. No problem for me, because I am usually going against the grain, I have secondary shortcuts and as a rule, I never take the EXPRESS LANES to the George Washington Bridge on a Sunday Night. Don't let that word EXPRESS fool you. And if I do get caught up in a major delay, well, it is to be expected.

Atlanta is another fabled area of major turmoil. I have heard all the stories... Oh, that city is always backed up... There is no good time to go through. The people drive like idiots. It is a freaking nightmare... Blah, blah, blah. Hey folks, I live near Atlanta and the rumors are not true, but I don't think I will ever be able to convince anyone else of that.

Atlanta, just like any other major city has its own flow. Yes, if you enter the perimeter after 6:30am, you will notice congestion starting to build, but that normally dissipates after 9:30. Lets call it Rush Hour. And surprisingly, 4:00pm to 7:00pm is fairly similar. As for the rest of the day, it moves reasonably well. Also, another tip to consider, the south side always moves much better than the northern stretch of the loop. Just sayin...

So, last Wednesday, I am flying south on 85, heading into Atlanta during Rush Hour. As, I approach Spaghetti Junction, I scan the horizon and what to my wondering eyes should appear... Traffic is at a dead stop in all directions on the Perimeter. Time to make a quick decision. Top Side, oh hell no!! Bottom Side, not looking too good either at the moment. So what do I do at 4:19 pm?

I slide left one lane and make the executive decision to shoot through the Middle of Town. I know, I know. All Thru Trucks Must Use 285. I have seen the sign a million times and from experience, I know that if I stay to the right and don't exceed the flow of traffic, I will be just fine. My only concern is that going downtown is one of those nightmares, drivers commonly refer too. The Grady Curve usually backs up and The Connector is always crawling during rush hour, but after weighing the odds, I had decided to chance it anyways. This based on the fact that 285 East should not be stopped so far north, I am thinking there must be an accident ahead.

It is 28 miles around the southern end of the loop to my exit. Even further around the top at 33 miles. Through the middle, it is only 26 miles, but is notorious for the worst in traffic snafus during Rush Hour.

Looks like my gut instinct was right !!

It only took me 25 minutes to go straight through town !!

After reemerging at the bottom end of the perimeter, I heard numerous complaints about travel times being an hour plus for the 28 mile route I normally take. What did you expect at Rush Hour? Sometimes, you just have to go with your gut, and once again, mine paid off for me! Woohoo !!

And as an added Bonus, just thought I would throw this at you. Heading into New York via the George Washington Bridge on a Monday morning at 6:00 am.... See folks, it is not as bad as people make it out to be !!

In Remembrance... Lance Cpl. Christopher S. Fowlkes

I am at a loss for words as how to go about writing this post. I am very patriotic and emotional when it comes to our Country, our Freedoms, and the men and women who willingly give their lives to protect us. Not since Vietnam has there been a draft. This means every soldier has willingly volunteered to give their life.

On Wednesday, a young Marine was brought home after being killed in Afghanistan. The entire South Carolina Upstate turned out to pay respects to this young man. The overpasses and service roads were lined with men and women bearing flags and flowers. It was a very emotional experience for me. Fire trucks, police cars, ambulances, and ordinary citizens. I was touched!

He was to be flown into Greenville, South Carolina, and then transported back to his hometown of Gaffney. I just happened to be driving south towards Greenville, when I noticed the procession heading towards me. It was amazing. There had to be over a hundred law enforcement vehicles alone, much less, all the others involved. I wanted to pull over to the shoulder and say a prayer and offer my gratitude to this man. I am forever indebted.

I noticed the cars on either side of me wanting to stop as well. So that is when we made a unanimous unspoken decision to do what is right. The five cars surrounding me, as well as myself slow to a stop with headlights on, and waited for the procession to pass. Me, with tears in my eyes!! This man gave his life for ME.. My freedoms, and did not even know me. He gave his life for everyone of us, regardless of our beliefs concerning this war! He is my hero!!

I felt so proud to be a part of this, to be able to say a silent Thank You! I know there are many others who have given their lives and I wish to Thank each and every family who supported the decision of a loved one, to fight for this Country.

However, I am also angry. I am very angry and outraged even at the attitudes of some of those around me. Truck drivers, in particular!! Over the airwaves, the CB radio came alive with complaints of traffic delays. Arguing and cursing. It was just unreal. What is wrong with these people. When we stopped traffic, the drivers around me were screaming obscenities and blowing the horn. The lady in the Schneider truck beside me was actually shooting me the bird and yelling at me to move!! I have never wanted to slap someone so hard in my life.

So yes, I am very proud to have shut down the interstate. You idiots will give me my moment to say Thanks... I know, every thing is about you, but this man gave his life for you, TOO. The least you could have done was give him less than a minute of your time without complaining..I don't understand what is wrong with people today.

Have You Ever...

*Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands?

Closed your eyes and trusted. Just trusted?

Have you ever thrown a fistful of glitter in the air?

Have you ever looked fear in the face and said ' I just dont care' ?

It's only half past the point of no return

The tip of the iceberg, The sun before the burn

The thunder before the lightning, the breath before the phrase

Have you ever felt this way?

Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?

Your whole life waiting on the ring to prove your not alone

Have you ever been touched so gently, you had to cry?

Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?

Have you ever wished for an endless night?

Lassoed the moon and stars and pulled that rope tight

Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself,

will it ever get better than tonight?

Have you ever felt stagnant? That is how I am feeling right now. Stagnant, and well, as if life is just passing me by. I want to go. I want to see. I want to do. But mostly, I think I want to .............love, er um.... I mean live.

I have numerous conversations with people this week about getting stuck in a rut/routine. One fellow has moved frequently and always returns "home". The other packs up all his belongings and moves every 3 years. I wish I had this kind of courage. Because right now, I just feel like I am living the same week, over and over...

Sorry folks, just going through a mild depression.....

* "Glitter In The Air" written and performed by P!nk