So, What Do You Think?
I have definitely been feeling the need to get out and sow some wild oats lately!! Or maybe, just get back into the dating scene... Must be this gorgeous weather!!
I HAD been chatting with a fellow who seemed relatively normal and after a few weeks, we decided to meet up for coffee.
I show up at the local Starbucks and we sit down for a rather pleasant meet and greet.. Everything is going well and I am definitely interested in an actual date.
That is until...............
He says, "Oh, I have this picture you should see."
Me: Um, okay
He then proceeds to fumble around with his phone for a bit. As if looking thru his files to pull up the picture.. I did not think anything of it at the time, but he was holding the phone at such an angle that he might have actually been snapping a few pictures during this time... Great, I can just see me now, all photo shopped out on the internets displaying someones goodies with my head attached... Sheeesh!!
He manages to pull up the picture and hands me the phone... I politely look, and then hand the phone back to him. I had expected to see a photo of a dog? a car? a vacation? a friend? family? or him?... Instead, what do I see??
An enlarged picture of his package...HIS JUNK!! His penis in all its glory.
I can just imagine the expression on my face, but he fails to notice that I am a bit in shock...Because I don't immediately say anything, he mutters, "You did not get a very good look!!" and thrusts the phone back at me.
I take the phone, and close it... I am still speechless...
He then asks, "So, what do you think?"
" I think you are a freak. Why would you do that?? Does that normally work for you? "
This look of total understanding comes over his face and he remarks that mine was not the reaction he had anticipated...
"What?? Did you think I was going to coo and giggle, proclaiming my unbridled desire to jump all over this little photographic invitation. "
He then says, "Well, I thought you might tell me how nice it looks, you know I am a full 8 inches"
Lucky for me, there was a Dunkin Donuts less than a mile away. I hated to leave my coffee unfinished, but sometimes you just gotta make sacrifices!!
10 comments:
Wha...?!?!
Are you freakin' serious???
I'm SO glad you met in a public place!
Oh
My
God
Now I know what I was doing wrong all those years of dating...
Oh, I can hardly believe this? Do you think he has ever gotten the response he wanted? I hope you don't have to see this freak anywhere anytime soon. I mean, What Kind of Freak...?
Reading this my mouth was literally open in disbelief! OMG who are these freaks?
I must be a freak because I would have laughed. I would have studied it. LOL. I might have commented even.
Yep.. I'm a freak but I write erotica and think about sex almost as much as a young man. LMAO
Leave it to you Mike, to make me bust out a big ol laugh!!
Lioux, exactly!! I was like wha!?!? for three days afterwards!
Sally and G, you will both be happy to know he lives somewhere away, so there will be no bumping into him...
Cece, you totally get how I felt.
But on a first face to face introduction, come on Angel, dont you think it was just a tad bit inappropriate??
You should see my face. Like I looked at some road kill or something. Bet yours turned red. Sicko! I'm glad you put him in his place. And you know what, I bet it wasn't even his. Probably Penis envy. I can't believe I said that.
Mama Bear
I can't believe you said that either!! My jaw just dropped again, thanks for the laugh Mama Bear!!
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