Just What Does That Mean?

What The Hell?

I was out shopping today, and after paying for my supplies, I headed towards the exit. One of the products that I had purchased had a security tag on it that had not been deactivated, so I set off the alarm.

Now, at this point, the door greeter was preoccupied in his oblivion and I could have very simply just kept walking. But no, I turned around and approached the door man, or whom I thought was the door guy. Upon realizing he was not the door checker, I flashed one of my brilliant little smiles and said "Oops". Turning on the charm, as my brother puts.

I then had my bag checked and deactivated by the real doorkeeper. But, as I was leaving the second time, the first man I had approached says to me.....

.... I would have been bitching too, considering who you are!!

I had that puzzled look on my face and asked if he knew me. He said no. Not with that 'I just made error in recognition' type answer. But with a genuine I don't know you, but I know who you are.....

Now, wait a minute, I volunteered to have my bag checked and did so with a smile.... Who was bitching... Maybe the snow is bringing out the crazies?!

Ironically, I had a dream last night where I had a horrible attitude. I was fussing and hateful about everything to everyone! But it was only a dream......

I Better go Get Some Milk and Bread !!

Although I don't eat enough bread to warrant purchasing some, and I already have a half gallon of milk. I better get to it and join the mass panic that ensues once the snow begins to fall. Time to head to the grocery store and stock up!!






On Wednesday, it was fore casted that parts of Georgia were to see snow. It has been at least four years since I have last seen any white fluffy precipitation in the Peach State. I did manage to see a few flakes falling on my trip home, but not enough to stick or cause closures.





Which is surprising, because here in the south, ONE snowflake will close the schools and half the businesses. I admit that I was excited, even though I see major snow in New England each winter. There is just something thrilling about seeing it from your living room window as you are all snuggled up warm and toasty! But alas! most of the inch that had fallen was washed away by the rains within a few hours of falling. So, that was it....








Until.......








This morning I awoke to the sounds of rain. I was a bit discouraged because I am really trying to get back in the swing of the whole diet and exercise program. I would not mind running in the rain, if it was Summer. But with the current temps hovering in the high 30's.. No Dice!!





Around 11AM, I glanced out the front window and noticed these huge snowflakes falling.. They were about the size of quarters.....What.... a second snow shower in Georgia within one week..





It continued to snow over the next four hours. I believe we were fore casted to get 2-4 inches. But remember, this is the south. What amazed me the most was the fact that less than an hour after it started, and believe me quite a bit had fallen in that short time frame, there were already people driving off into the ditches... THERE IS NO ICE ON THE ROAD!! and yet I saw 2 vehicles in the ditch!




I posted this picture just to see if you would notice the way I outsmarted that pesky little cardinal that likes to poop all over my doors! Damn Birdy Bastard, and yes, it is only my car he adorns with his frustrations!




This is what it looked like 10 minutes after it started!!



This is one hour later



And this is the Grande Finale of the Blizzard of '08.

It is still occasionally trying to spit a few more flakes, but sadly, half of what had fallen is already melted away....Oh well, at least it happened on a Saturday so that I could enjoy it. Oh, and the best part was the fact that most of the children in the area under the age of seven have never seen snow before. Their parents had them all bundled up and they were participating in a massive snow ball fight. Too bad the snow was not falling fast enough to keep them in ammo...But I just love moments like that!!

Scenic Byways

This week, I had a little extra time on my hands, and to make up for the lack of work recently, I decided to run an additional route this week.

I love taking the scenic routes as much as possible when I am traveling about the country, time permitting of course. So this morning I headed up to Blairsville, Georgia to deliver a load. I took the interstate and highway while loaded, but on the return trip, I opted for one of those fabulous scenic byways. Highway 19 travels right across the top of Blood Mountain.

I felt bad for the automobiles behind me because the 40 mile trip across the top took approximately an hour and a half. Not because I was going to slow, but because of the 20 mph curves every mile or so. Occasionally, I would get excited and accelerate up to 35 or 40, but then one of those 10 mph hairpins would sneak up on me!

Okay, well maybe I was being a little overly cautious and indeed taking my sweet time to look around. I just love a nice drive through the country.. There are several hiking trails that lead to the top for splendid views at the summit of the neighboring peaks. I would love to go hiking, but not something that i would attempt on my own....

A few weeks ago, a young female hiker disappeared and was later found murdered on this very same mountain.. Nope, I think I will wait for a partner to attempt hiking!! After all, this is Deliverance country.. Dueling Banjos, anyone??

Weekend Update..

I managed to get a new fridge for the truck, so I am back on the diet!!

Running totals ~ 6 miles

Walking Totals ~ 4 miles

I am still trying to do 5 miles a day, but I am breaking it up with 3 miles running followed by 2 more walking.

{20.2}

I Sound Just Like My Mother...eek

This period of depression seems to have taken me to an all new low. I hate to even bring this to my blog, but I just feel so alone right now. I do not do a written journal, so here is where I choose to dump this crap.



I am having trouble seeing the meaning of it all.



No husband, no children, no direction it seems. My job limits my capabilities of getting out and starting something new that remotely resembles having a normal life. My finances prohibit me from just starting a new job, that resembles a normal life. My social life suffers because I am not around enough to develop normal relationships. I can't have a pet because it would have no one around to care for it.



Am I really just supposed to work every day so that I can provide myself a roof over my head. And the roof over my head just provides a place to camp out until I go back to work.



The thoughts are really weighing on me, and I know better.. I know that everyone enjoys my presence. I know that my acquaintances cannot believe that I am single, because I am soooo awesome to be with. Children love me, animals love me.. I have no problem making people smile or laugh... I leave a good impression in my wake. And I am generally in a great mood 95% of the time.



But right now, I feel so fat and ugly.... I am bitter, which makes me feel even uglier.



The real reason for my depression is that something happened 20 years ago, and it just won't seem to go away.. I have let it go.. Most of the family does not speak of it. It is almost taboo.



Until one of the parties involved was asked a question by a child.





"Why did that happen?" The blame was claimed by the person being asked and the child moved on to another subject....



It was then mentioned to me... I have been depressed ever since. And I don't think it is the topic that depressed me so.... I believe it is the fact that another generation has entered the realm of judging me for something that happened years ago. I love this child, but they have a certain finesse for making me feel inadequate...



Okay, I suck! I screwed up.. If you are going to judge me, please just do it behind my back... I don't think I can take much more criticism...



Okay, now I am going to go watch some sappy love story and hopefully I can get a good cry out of it. I have a lot of emotion pent up right now, and I could really use the release.



Oh, one more thing.... PLEASE do not mention this to that child... They do not need to know anything else about it. I am strong, I will survive, and I will get over this soon..

Online Dating Advice

Ha ha.. Recently, while visiting at my Brothers home, he asked if I was perusing a certain online dating website..

I was actually trying to look at it, but could not without creating a profile. So, I started filling in a questionnaire. I just wanted to check it out, so when/ if I decided to try again, I would be better informed.

They still won't let you view the profiles without a paid subscription, so I put it out of my mind.. I am not interested in meeting anyone in Georgia anyway, and it will be several months before I move, so no need to try the long distance thing again, as it is so not worth it when they turn out to not be who they say they are.

Speaking of which....I recently read an article about creating your profiles for an online dating website... The author tells you to be creative... Be anyone you want to be..."This is your chance to reinvent yourself"

?? Wait a minute, isn't that the biggest complaint I have had so far.. That people are NOT who they say they are..

By the way, the author was a single male.... If he knew so much about creating the perfect profile, shouldn't he no longer be single...

Give Me A Break

This morning I headed back over to my local Department of Labor Office.

When I was there last week, the lady informed me that I would be receiving my first check around Wednesday. So, you can imagine to my surprise when no check was deposited. After checking the web-site, it informed me that I needed to return to the office for further help.

Upon arriving, I spoke with the receptionist. She informed me that I had NOT even been processed yet. That should take no longer than 15 working days, and then, I will begin to receive my unemployment compensation.

Good thing I will receive a regular paycheck next Friday, because this bologna is getting old!!

Looks like this weekend will be spent at home doing anything that costs absolutely nothing..

Ohhhhh, A Wise Guy...

I am somewhat amazed at to what lengths some people will actually go to get what they want.

My phone number for example.

At one of my Massachusetts customers, I have a friend. I shall call him Mr. Boston. He is such a sweetie. Over the years, we have developed a friendship outside of work. About 2 months ago, after making a delivery, Mr. Boston calls me and tells me that the new receiving manager thinks I am a hottie.

When the guy found out that Mr Boston and I were friends, he asked him for my phone number... It was not given to him. Instead, I received the phone call asking for permission. I had no idea who Mr Boston was talking about, so I naturally told him under no circumstances are you to ever give out my number.

That said, it has been two months, and I had another delivery for them on Tuesday. The receiving guy approaches me and introduces himself...(Oh Yeah, the one Mr. B was telling me about). But he seemed to be more social than business in his introduction. I, on the other hand, went about my routine of unstrapping the load... He managed to chase me around the truck a few times while I was unstrapping. Finally, before he departed, he informs me that I need to start calling in a day early and notifying him of an impending delivery. "That way we can make room for the freight before you get here."..

He gives me his personal cell phone number. I continued on in a business demeanor and assured him that he would be notified in a timely manner. After all, some of my other customers request this courtesy and I always oblige them.

Let me give you some statistics... The warehouse I deliver to has got to be at least 200, 000 square foot. I swear that thing appears to be 1/10th mile wide. I drive through one overhead door and unload inside and then pull out the opposite end. You can easily fit at least 10 Trucks inside, nose to tail to illustrate the depth. There are racks upon racks stacked the entire depth of the building, and the racks are only a quarter full....

Now why would anyone need 24 hour advance notice to receive 2 or 3 bundles of aluminum? I could understand better if it was a truck load. But still, not even a truck load would put a dent in the available storage area of this facility. And if someone needed a legitimate notification, would they not give a direct line to their office phone....

Yeah, sure, I am going to call you on your cell phone because you have sooooo little space to put my 3 bundles of aluminum.... Oh, but wait, If I did call you on your personal cell phone, then you would have MY CELL PHONE NUMBER, now wouldn't you??

I seem to recall another fellow who got my number through devious means a few years ago.... He finally quite calling...

So, instead, just to acknowledge his request, I will have Bossman call him when I have a delivery... Or, I could just go back to a second shift delivery schedule. But then Mr. Boston would not be able to buy my lunch...

Sleepless In Seattle

How can a bright beautiful day tun so dark with no warning?

Wednesday morning started out back in Queens, NY... Jimmy brought me breakfast. Angelo brought me coffee...My friend in Virginia wanted me to stop and have dinner with him.. The sky was beautiful and the sun shining very brightly. For most of the day, I had a song on my lips and was feeling very cheerful..

With no warning, I became very sullen and somber. The reality of my solitude creeps up on me and occasionally brings about depression.

This usually occurs when I am not resting well, or eating good....

I am not tired or hungry. Hopefully tomorrow's sunrise will put the smile back on my face...

Come to think of it, I have not been resting well.. I do get at least 6 hours of sleep a night, but the past 4 nights have been very restless sleep. Waking up multiple times during the night to look at the clock only to realize i have only been asleep an hour or so.. Hmmmmm? That's odd because I don't feel stressed about anything at all..

Wait a minute... I did receive another email from HIM.....

And every time I hear from him, I stop breathing.....

I will always love him....

Too bad it was never meant to be. But with every email exchanged, I tend to lose focus of everything for about a week. That includes sleeping, eating and the tendency to become sullen.. It is a bittersweet feeling for me and I do not regret going through it occasionally, I just hope it does not last too long. I don't like being sad!!

A Sign Of The Times ???

I just hope that this first week back is not a sign of things to come.

I made my journey Sunday with no major dilemmas. Or so I thought, until I checked my freight. It seems several bundles of metal were working themselves loose from the rest of the load.. I had to open up the trailer and add more straps. When I opened up the trailer, I noticed what a shoddy job that was done when loading it. There were major holes and gaps which always causes me to be more paranoid about something sliding off of the trailer. If you look at my header, you will see that the trailer is indeed enclosed, but a tarp fastened to an aluminum frame still would not hold if several tons of metal decided to come crashing through it. Therefore, I had to add several stops to my day to recheck the load...

When I finally made it to Pennsylvania, roughly 2 hours past the last "good" truck stop, I noticed that my mini-fridge was struggling to keep itself running. I had decided to get back on my diet with renewed determination and had just spent a small bundle loading up on fruits and veggies for my trip. Also in the cooler is a half gallon of milk, several servings of cheese, dip for my veggies, salad items, and deli sliced roast beef. Needless to say, I wasted a bunch of money because after beating the little refrigerator within an inch of it's life, it decided to give up the ghost... A week's worth of groceries spoiled in just 12 hours...and this after being "laid off" for the past few weeks. Grrrrr......

Monday was not any better.... My first delivery was at a location that does not receive deliveries on MONDAY... The Aluminum Co has been aware of this for at least a year, but still, it is always loaded as a Monday delivery.. After sitting in their parking lot most of the morning, they finally agree to unload my ONE BUNDLE....

Next I had to endure several bouts of congestion as it seems that several truckers decided to roll over their big rigs ....

I also had a Brooklyn delivery, which is never time efficient... So, add that to the "No Monday Deliveries" and you can pretty well figure out that my entire Monday was shot to hell..

Freaking Department of Labor?!

Ughhh, I have had a very ?? week.

That will be posted later, but for now.. I arrived home to find a lovely letter in the mail stating that I did indeed qualify for unemployment compensation.

Then I checked my bank account and no payment had been posted...

I checked the DOL web-site and it stated that the claim was not paid and I needed to return to the Career Center for further assistance.

Guess I know what I am doing tomorrow morning...

Back To Work

It was inevitable...

I have been off work for the past 17 days, and to be honest, it hasn't felt like I have been home much. Actually, I have been in Bama for most of the time during the holidays. I really appreciate the open door that has been extended to me from my family.

So, today it was time to get back in work mode. I went over to the Aluminum Co earlier to prepare my Truck for tomorrows journey. (I would much rather spend an hour on Saturday doing this, as opposed to getting up at 4am on Sunday)

It felt really strange being back in the big rig. I did my pre-trip inspection and inspected my load. All systems are clear!

Next I came home to check the weather reports for the North East. I have not checked them in three weeks, so I have no idea what has been going on up there. Much to my surprise, the fore casted weather predicts I will not see any daytime temperatures below 55 degrees.

Did I miss Winter??

The Future Looks dark, dank, and dirty!

After experiencing a brief lapse into a morose demeanor, I have emerged with thoughts of nothing but adventure.

Who says you have to have a partner, to go have fun... Okay, no one did. But I have always preferred it that way.

After visiting Ruby Falls yesterday, my adventurous side was awakened with such fervor that I can hardly contain myself...

I have googling some Cavern Sites to plan a few little adventures for myself this year.. I stumbled upon one such site that offers rappelling, rock climbing, cave exploration (complete with lantern, crawling on your belly type of fun) kayaking, hiking, etc...

Each adventure is fairly inexpensive and all equipment is supplied on site. The adventures range from inexperienced to expert.

And the good news is that the location is only 2-3 hours from home....

Along with my trip to California to compete in a 10k run through the Redwoods, and a trip to Disney at the end of the year, looks like I do indeed have quite a year ahead of me...

2007

To sum it all up.. Here is a collage of my previous year!

I Want to be a Spelunker!!

My final days of being "unemployed" are drawing to a close, and as one final treat during the holidays, I was invited to join my brother and his family in Chattanooga for some site seeing.







Although we found NO noogas to chat with, we did have a lovely adventure deep inside the heart of Look Out Mountain.







I have been wanting to spend a day in Choo Choo for quite some time just to soak in all the tourist attractions, but could not convince anyone to go with me. So, I could not refuse the invitation.







I will definitely have to make a return visit in order to catch all the attractions that I missed, but I will have to wait. We did however make the plunge into LookOut Mountain to catch a glimpse of Ruby Falls..

This small crevice was the actual size of the cavern when discovered.. It measured in at barely 2' tall, Of course, it was later excavated to allow for tourism.

This formation is known as Cactus and Candles!

This was one of my favorites.. The south end of a north bound donkey...

After you make the 2/5 mile trek into the cavern, you are finally able to view the namesake of the attraction. Ruby Falls... It was not as grande as I had anticipated... But I think I lost some of the awe just simply because of the structured tour that we were on.

Now, don't get me wrong.. It was indeed very beautiful. But I would prefer to be spelunking with a small group in an unstructured environment.....

The WORD of the day is NOT retroactive

I ventured over to my local Department of Labor Office this morning to file an unemployment claim. I was told I could do this because I have not worked since December 19, 2007. I do officially return to work on Sunday morning.

On the web-site for the DOL, it states that are claims are effective the date filed, and not RETROACTIVE to the last date of work performed. That frightened me because I did not receive my paperwork from the Employer until January 2. I tried to file that day, but due to the large amount of people filing unemployment claims that day, I was unable to be seen. So, I headed over this morning..... I feared because I was filing on the 4th, that my claim would only be processed for any work missed after this date, which would be NONE...

Did I miss interpret the word RETROACTIVE, or are they simply mis-using it?

My claim was filed and I am to receive the maximum benefit paid for up to 26 weeks.. But luckily for me, the lay-off was temporary. I could not live on this amount for even one one month, but any extra income is better than none.

I have never had to file for unemployment compensation before, and do not look forward to ever having to file again. That place is very depressing. The people I encountered in the waiting room were all full of negativity which is something I try to avoid at all costs. A lot of them had simply had misfortune fall into their path, but there were several of the stereotypical lot that were there just to abuse the system. Those people infuriate me!!

Another thing that irritates me is the lies that were being passed around the room from those seeking confirmation, sympathy and/or respect. For example, one young man claimed he was receiving a large amount on a weekly basis. This amount exceeded the maximum benefit paid by several hundred dollars. He had everyone else in the waiting area all fired up, because they were not qualified to receive such a large compensation check... He volunteered his previous place of employment, and stated the reason for his lay-off....

Can you guess where he worked? The Aluminum Co... MY ALUMINUM CO. While there has been a substantial down-sizing during the past year, I happen to know for a fact that he was not one of the people laid off.

How do I know this? Because there is a picture of HIM posted at the security office . This posted notice is to inform the guards that he is not allowed on the premises, and the Authorities are to be called if he appears on the property. Seems he had an incident with his supervisor and was escorted off the property.

Therefore, he could not possibly be drawing unemployment through the Aluminum Co. Much less, an amount exceeding the maximum benefit paid. I just kept my mouth shut and continued with my people watching..... But I can't help but be irritated by people like this.. I mean really, what is the point..

The WORD of the Day...

The Word of the day is RETROACTIVE.

Now, I am going to sit in a waiting room for several hours and hopefully when I get my business taken care of, Retroactive will not be one of the words that is used on me......

What Part of NO don't you understand...?

Since the last post, I have received another 2 phone calls and 7 more text messages...

Is this guy for real...

Even if I had not point blank told him that I was not attracted and did not want to date, I would think that my refusal to answer him AT ALL would give him a clue...

But I am happy to know that he has a new horse, a new dog and really wants to be friends with me.... Just some of the text messages he has sent...

I Give Up.. for now...

My days with Internet dating have come to a close for now.... I think I will spend the next few months just taking care of me and getting ready for all the wonderful changes that are going to take place this year... Not to say that I would turn down a date with a handsome stranger, if the opportunity comes along. I am just not going to keep looking for that opportunity.

My last encounter with an On-Line match went a little something like this.

A fellow that I was exchanging emails with back when I met Superman, sent me a message. I thought I might as well see what he had to say, so I began to talk to him again... We had several phone conversations, along with several emails, and agreed to meet on my next trip to Bama. Which just so happened to be this weekend...

On Saturday, I set sail for another visit with my brother's family and along the way I stopped to meet him.. We had agreed to a quick meet and greet, but no intentional "date" was scheduled.

I sat waiting in the Wendy's parking lot for him to arrive. When I saw him pull up, my heart sank. He was yet another of those fellows who was very pleasant to communicate with, but I felt disappointed when he pulled up in an older model mini-van... It was not so much the mini-van that bothered me, but it still made an impression on m e nonetheless. What did bother me was the fact that his teeth were absolutely horrible.. Not like meth amphetamine horrible, just all out of place... And I am thinking why would anyone over the age of , no, I take that back.... why would anyone go through life with their teeth so obviously neglected.. Okay, maybe he did not have dental insurance.... But still, if he has no insurance, then what other areas of his life were also neglected?? See where I am going with this?

It was literally all I could do to sit there and drink a soda while exchanging some very superficial pleasantries.. Lucky for me, he had some urgent errands to run.. He did ask if I would like to hang around and he would show me his horses... I excused myself politely with the excuse that my Brother was waiting on me to arrive.... which was not really a lie, I mean, bro was expecting me even though he was sleeping and was not a bit concerned about what time I would arrive... Oh well, it worked anyways...

I kind of felt bad for this fellow, because he obviously knew his teeth were a distraction and tried to hide them which made it even harder for me to not notice, but okay! He left with a simple, "I will talk to you later." to which I replied that I would contact him in a few days because I would be busy with family plans.....

In the course of two and a half days at my brothers house, I received 17 text messages from him. After the first one, I did respond with "I will contact you after I am through with family plans." After the second one, I turned my phone off.... When I turned it back on, not only were there a total of 17 from him, there was also another text from a local number that I did not know asking who I was...

I kind of get the feeling he was texting me from another number, just to see if I would answer.. Playing detective if you will.... There is no other reason that I can think of that I would get a message asking who I was, unless I had called a strange number, and I had not.

Needless to say, even if the teeth had not been so ughh... the incessant text messages were enough to scare me away...

Oh , he just sent me another one!! ...... Crap......

Okay, so I just sent him one explaining that I was not attracted to him, which is an important factor to me, and that I wished him luck.. Hopefully that will be the end of that...

EDIT.... Not five minutes after sending the last text, I received a phone call from him.. Yes, I did address the massive amount of texts he had sent... So, anyways, he wanted to know what I was talking about.. I explained... He offered an explanation, which I completely understood. Then he tells me to not freak out on him.. That he is not some kind of freak, but that his daughter got a hold of the phone and was playing with.... See, that is understandable considering that the last 7 messages all said the same thing.. But what he failed to see was the part of the text where I plainly stated that I was not attracted to him, and would not be interested in dating him.... Sheeesh.. my phone is off. I hate having to do that, but what else could I possibly say to make him understand?.....