Cranial Excavation...

or more simply, Removing Your Head From Your Arse !!

I am soooooo pissed off. I do not intend to let this post become a long drawn out diatribe bashing new truck drivers. In fact, it is not always the newer drivers who pull stupid stunts. I do have a low opinion of how the new comers are being trained and while some of that could be blamed on poor educational courses, the fact of the matter is... It boils down to common sense.

Today, I was cruising up I-65 when I noticed a company truck sitting on the shoulder of the road about a half mile ahead. The driver in front of me also noticed, and as any courteous professional would do, we both signaled to merge into the left lane to give the stranded driver as much room as possible. With the high flow of traffic, we were having quite a time getting over to the left.

I noticed the blinker begin to light up on the "disabled" truck and thought...surely, he is going to wait. But NOOOOOOO!! The bastard pulled straight out into the right lane of the interstate at about 10mph. Here is what happened next..

It scared a fourwheeler who then drove into the grassy median, luckily without having an accident. The truck in front of me was trying to get left quickly, but with the one car already in the grass, several others hit the brakes leaving him no room as he was already merging. He tried to pull back to the right to avoid hitting innocent motorists and started to slide. After quick thinking on his part, he regained traction and was able to merge left. As for me, I have some very flat spots on my tires due to coming to a rather quick stop and ended up driving on the shoulder for a little bit to avoid the slow truck in the right lane...

Meanwhile, this freaking idiot is oblivious to the near mayhem he almost created. Who I am kidding, it was mayhem!! I am just thankful everybody was able to react in a way that not one person was injured or one vehicle damaged.

And for the record... I had some very unpleasant things to say to this steering wheel holder and all of Indiana had the pleasure of hearing it. Would you be surprised that the driver never acknowledged what he had done. He even went so far as to hide his face when I passed him.

This is the second time I have had my life flash before my eyes because of some stupid freaking truck driver.. Oh, and the worst part... The shoulder he was parked on was between the ramps for an exit!! He could have easily pulled off the exit and parked on that shoulder, therefore allowing himself room to build momentum for reentry.

I just don't understand why some people are so disconnected. You are driving 80,000lbs of mobile destruction.. and yet your only concern is your missed exit, how late you are, where the next McDonalds is or checking out the babes in the cars beside you.

Your lack of common sense infuriates me!!

'Tis the Season

I have been somewhat lacking in my enthusiasm for the holiday season this year. I have so much going on and so many changes taking place that I have not relished all that is to behold during the holidays.

Until Tuesday Night. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks, if only for a moment.

During the course of this weeks deliveries, I was bestowed with several Christmas presents from some of my regular customers. I begin to feel an inclination to head home and start making gift bags to hand out myself next week. Typically I love the holidays, the best part being finding that perfect gift for everyone on my list. Sadly, this year, cash will have to be the perfect gift.

sigh.....Who knows, I might get it in gear.....

But back to my Christmas Tale.

On my way home, I stopped in a rest area for the night. This particular one was maintained by a gentleman whom lived in a camper a few miles down the road. He was very quiet and kept to himself to stay out of the patrons way. While I was searching the snack machines for a treat, I noticed him humbly waiting in the corner to continue with his duties as the restrooms emptied. No one would look his way, much less greet him or even acknowledge him for that matter.

No one, except myself. He seemed pleasantly surprised as I engaged him in cheerful, witty banter. He shared a portion of his life story with me, including his dream to reach ALASKA for the adventure of a lifetime. I cheered him on with words of encourage and awe as his told his tale.

His eyes were sparkling as I made my way back to the truck for some rest.

Then it dawned on me....(I am a little slow, sometimes) This man was not used to having people treat him with respect and friendship...My heart began to fill emotion. I then proceeded to rummage through my bounty, and selected one of the gifts that had been given to me.

Feeling a little bit awkward, because I did not want to offend him by assuming anything about his lifestyle, as so many others were seeming to do, I made my way back inside the building. I immediately was discouraged because he was no where to be found. But as I left, I noticed him collecting the trash along the sidewalk. Beaming from ear to ear, I quietly approached him. I asked him if he had family in the area, and how he would spend his Christmas. I then offered him a Christmas present. His eyes welled with tears as he smiled. He let out a jolly laugh and expressed his gratitude. He told me that he could sense what a wonderful person I was from our previous conversation, and that had been enough of a gift to him already. I insisted he take the present, anyways.....To which he did not hesitate.

In return, he asked for one thing.... To give me a Hug! He said it was all he had to offer me, and I gladly accepted it. I made my way back to the truck with a bounce in my step, a smile on my face and all the joy that the holidays contain abounding in my heart.

I do not need for any of you to tell me what impression this story might make on you. I am not looking for your approval. I got what I needed from the smile in his eyes, as I walked away.

I would just like to remind each and every one of you, that there are people less fortunate who could use an extra smile, a moment of conversation, or even a hug!! My wish this Christmas , is that we all take a moment to spread the Christmas Cheer to those who are less fortunate!!

Happy Holidays!!

Quick Updates

First things, first.....

As you know, I get the pleasure of delivering in New England almost every week. There are certain benefits that come with the territory. For instance, oh, about this time every year Mother Nature puts on her finest dress and struts her stuff. She is quite a show-off.I haven't noticed her looking quite this lovely in awhile. I missed capturing the peak of her fall foliage display this year. But, trust me, she was absolutely breath-taking. I still managed to capture some of her lingering charms and put together a little video for your viewing pleasure.

and now for the updates

Running~

• 2.34 miles in Bristol, Pa. Is it possible to get freezer burn on your ears? Time to buy winter gear.
• 2.13 miles in Glastonbury, Ct. Never could get warmed up. Legs were screaming in resentment.

Truck Repairs~

Would you be surprised if I told you that my Truck was not repaired? No big deal. I was told to swing back by my new favorite shop and let the day shift mechanic have a look at it to confirm the first diagnosis. When I got there, he had left for the day. It was only lunchtime, so I was surprised. But these things happen! Maybe next week!

Relaxation~

I had the time and opportunity to spend a weekend with my SIL and the kids a few weeks ago. My Brother was only present for a moment as he had other obligations to attend to. The highlight of the weekend was Karaoke Night! SIL's Mother came over and we all had such a wonderful time letting our hair hang down.

This weekend, I am attending a little gathering at the other Brother's house. I don't think I have been over there at all this year ?! So, it is long overdue.

The Big Move~

This weekends trip is also a great excuse to load up some of my unused items laying around the homestead, and put them into storage over in Bama. Storage being in my Father's attic. I find that I need a little incentive to get on the ball about transplanting myself back over that way. With the economy, the election, and the uncertain future that lies ahead, I have been a bit fearful of making any big decisions or drastic changes. So, I figure that if all my of belongings meandered over into Bama, I would begin to miss them and eventually follow them into a new life. Kind of silly, I know. But I do love my job! I just want more out of life, and it is not happening in my present location. I know everything will work out once I do make the big move, but I am very fearful of leaving my beloved New England route. I suppose it is just the fear of the unknown holding me back and Yes, there are trucking jobs all over the place. But my dedicated route has been very kind to me, and I don't want to get caught up in something less enjoyable. But it is like my Brother said to me, " You will ALWAYS be able to find a reason to NOT leave." Hmmmmm, you know, he has a point there!

So, I guess that should cover it. Hey, did you notice anything? It seems like perhaps, just maybe, my anger has subsided a little bit. Yay!! for me.

Careful, My RoadRage is Showing

I would like to dedicate this post to South Carolina, and all you other idiots who do not respect the highways.



It seems I have more problems with traffic in South Carolina than in any other state. Not accidents, but just plain ol' stooooopid drivers. I have always declared I-85 in SC to be the worst stretch of road for idiots to hang out on, and this is true every single week with no exceptions. Everyone wants to hang out in the center lane talking on the cell phone and not maintaining a consistent speed. And it is not just the automobile drivers, but the Truckers as well.



Does South Carolina cast some sort of stupid spell on its inhabitants of the roadway??? So, it seems.



Today, I would like to address being courteous. A lot of State Departments have signs posted on the interstates to advise drivers to "Move Over or Slow Down " when passing anything official parked on the side of the interstate. Be it an emergency vehicle or just Mr Smokey writing a citation for a speeding vehicle. Typically, most Truck Drivers are looking far enough ahead to notice anything sitting on the shoulder and will adjust accordingly, if the four wheelers will co-operate. However, there are some idiot truckers who do not give plenty of clearance to the Officer on the shoulder, and I have seen them get chased down and fined for not doing so. That cracks me up. Stupid Truckers crack me up!! PERIOD !!



So, yesterday, when I was making my final descent towards home, there was a brokedown fourwheeler, along with tow-truck and assisting officer on the side of the road. I noticed them from about a half mile distance. I put on my blinker and eased to the edge of my lane to let the passing cars know I wanted over..... It is called a TURN SIGNAL... It signals my intended direction!!! During the course of this half mile stretch, there were at least 15 four wheelers that accelerated to pass me, not allowing me to give clearance to the situation on my right.

There are FIVE signals on each side of my Truck. Surely, they saw at least one of them. Right? Of course they did! That is why they gassed on it. To get around the big truck who wanted in the left lane for no apparent reason... By the time we reached the incident, the only courtesy I could give was to slow down. Still on the edge of my lane (okay, I had eased into the left lane about a foot to intimidate the cars), I reduced my speed to roughly 45 mph (on a 70 mph interstate). But alas!, as one of the cars passed me, they begin to blow the horn, I can only assume to indicate that they were not going to let me in the lane. Now, Mr Smokey was busy protecting the tow-truck driver (Protect and Serve) but he quickly left the scene to chase down the fourwheeler who had so rudely just passed with horn blaring! Ha ha ha ha ha a.....

So, for all you idiots who don't know........you are supposed to merge with other traffic and allow plenty of clearance to any situation that may exist on the shoulder of the interstate. Don't always assume that the Big Truck is moving into the left lane just to irritate you. OMG, there might be a legitimate need for that cumbersome truck to get in the left lane. And... Most states have now posted it as a LAW which you can be fined for if you choose to disobey it! As witnessed by myself yesterday.

Freaking Retards!!

Let It Snow......ETC

Lets just pretend for a moment that it is Sunday, November 18th 2007.

Not too far of a stretch, unless you take into consideration that it is snowing like crazy in Pennsylvania.... Huge white flakes coming down hard and fast. Luckily for me, it only lasted for a hundred miles, as I am not prepared for winters early arrival just yet. And neither are the other motorists. For some strange reason, it seems to take people a few good snow storms to readjust to driving in those conditions. So for tonight, we are traveling at speeds of 45 mph on the interstate.....because we (and I mean the people in cars) are scared.

I have said it before and I will say it again.. I absolutely love frigid weather. It invigorates me to no end. But it seems like Old Man Winter just left a short time ago... Okay, so maybe it has been seven months since the big NorEaster blew through New England, but last winter the snow did not start falling until January or February.. An extremely dry winter along my route. It just seems too soon.

On Monday, we got a light dusting in Hanson, Massachusetts.

On Tuesday, we were hammered with pillowy white precipitation in Waterbury Connecticut.

So, that is three snowfalls in three days in three states.....

Looks like winter is here Boys and Girls.... And I think it is going to be a harsh one, but that is just my opinion.

Oh, and just because I feel I need to remind people that as long as there is water coming off of the tires....... the road is not frozen or icy. So, just because your windshield holds ice or snow, does not mean you have to fear black ice. Therefore there is no need to drive 40 mph down the interstate just because it is snowing....Over-reacting is sometimes much worse than not reacting at all... Remember this........

The driver of this car over reactted and WHAM, I smacked him.... Even the State Trooper asked this fellow why he slammed on his brakes.....

"um, i over- reacted!"

Signs Signs Everywhere There's Signs

...Blocking up the scenery, breaking up my mind. Do this! Don't do that! CAN'T YOU READ THE SIGNS????

I mean really folks!! The signs are every where. But yet it is amazing to me how few people actually read them. Or maybe just don't care to heed the message within...

Informational, directional, suggestional (not a word, but I thought it flowed nicely), or even the good old fashion "THIS IS A LAW" kind of sign.

Today I am here to educate the masses on a few things. (Bear with me Friends, I need to vent!!)

COLORS: If you will notice, these colors are NOT randomly picked to brighten your day. They are specifically chosen to alert drivers of the information contained in the sign.

GREEN signs are there for directional purposes, indicating roadways and highway numbers and the directions they run.

BLUE signs are there for informational purposes, indicating such things as services located at given exit ramp.

ORANGE signs are placed to warn the public of construction sites.... In other words, there are people present in this zone, Please slow down and don't run them over!!!

YELLOW signs are used to caution drivers of immediate changes in circumstances, such as "Right Lane is Exit Only" or the little yellow speed limit signs on exit ramps. When it states 35MPH on a yellow sign, this is merely a caution that the ramp should not be taken in excess of 35 mph. Bet you did not know that exit ramp speed limit signs were placed to alert TRUCK DRIVERS of the maximum safe speed to exit. Not automobiles!! To prevent the truck from tipping over.

And Finally (no, I did not cover them all!!)

WHITE signs.. These signs are, yes, you guessed it!! written LAW... Such as speed limits.

Funny though, the speed limit signs seem to be the only WHITE signs that people notice.. Well look again. On most 4 and 6 lane Interstates, there are several other white signs present. Let me just point out a few for you...

Ever notice the sign that states "Slower Traffic Keep Right" While there are several versions of this sign (depending on the State) , it all means the same thing... Get your Sunday Driving Ass Out Of The Left Lane!!!!!

And more importantly .... On 6 lane (and larger) Interstates there is one particular sign that almost always goes unnoticed Except to the eye of a Trucker. It clearly states. "Trucks Use Two Right Lanes" or "No Trucks In Left Lane" Why should we Big Riggers pay heed to this particular sign while other motorists do not. Because if we get caught out in that left lane, WE have to pay a hefty fine!! Florida, for example charges as much as $500 for cruising in the left lane in a Big Truck.

So next time you are cruising down the Interstate and Big Billy Big Rigger is breathing down your bumper, just think about how easy and inexpensive it would be if you simply moved to the left or right lanes and just let us pass by. We mean no harm, just doing our job. But I can assure you that there are many Truckers who will ride 2inches behind literally pushing you down the highway until you move out of the way!! Just the way it is!

Gosh, I believe my hostility is showing and this is not even the real issue that set me off!!

NYC Welcoming Committee

I have been traveling into New York City for about 4 years now. I was a bit surprised to find that a lot of the hype about NYC did not seem to be true. That which is seen in movies or television was not necessarily present.

Traffic, for example. Rumored to have mind blowing bouts of gridlock. Not necessarily the case. In my experiences I have witnessed some horrible delays, true; but not quite the stuff these legends are made of. I find that New Yorkers are very good drivers!! I AM SERIOUS. Every major city has rush hour, and these people flow quite well considering how populated the area is. There is definitely an unspoken set of rules you must abide by in order to fit in, but once you have mastered the basic knowledge of these guidelines you can merge with the best of them.

1.Beware of TaxiCabs. They are unaware that any other vehicle is present on the roadway.(Or, they just really dont give a flying rats ass.) But we will give them the benefit of the doubt and call it TunnelVision.

2. Never assume that the lines painted on the surface of the road actually mean anything. Lane position, WHAT LANE POSITION???? As long as you are on a drivable surface, gas on it. Asphalt, concrete, dirt, grass.... Its all fair game , anything to get ahead of the crowd.

Most importantly

3. Merging... Its not for the faint of heart. When you decide you must change lanes, be firm in your resolution and DONT SHOW FEAR. From the moment you intiate your turn signal, you have roughly 3 seconds to make the transition. (I would like to say "Give or Take", but who am I kidding. 3 is already too generous). First BLINK, a slight gap will magically appear; trust me, it is there. You must believe young grasshopper!! Second BLINK, at this point you should already be at least halfway into your new LANE position. DONT HESITATE. Third BLINK, this is the token clicking noise to remind you to turn off your turn signal.

Should you hesitate at any point, the GAP will vanish as magically as it appeared. (Did you see it, YOUNG JEDI MASTER??) Okay , now abort the procedure entirely. Count to 10 and reengage the turn signal. Hopefully, they will have forgotten your first failed attempt. Maybe they will assume you accidently hit the lever the first time. If for some reason you are unsuccessful a second time, they are now completely aware you are not a local and have NO sympathy for you . Good Luck

I seem to have strayed quite a bit there....now, back to the real issue at hand..


Everyone has seen the shots of NYC where traffic is blocked in all directions, and horns are ablowing. Gestures being made in every direction, ( I know I am number One, but thanks for the comfirmation) WELL, I have yet to see that side of the City .... Until this week....

Road construction forced me to find an alternate route to one of my deliveries in Queens. I was told in advance, so I prepared to make the journey well into the night to avoid some of the traffic. The mission: to find a place to make a U-Turn on the Brooklyn Queens Expressway. Traffic is thin, good vibes all around. I spot it.... Exit Ramp, overpass, entrance ramp. All in plain view, with only 2 left turns to be made. Simple, RIGHT???? I take the exit, make the first left easily enough. I am on the overpass. One lane straight, one lane turns. I am in the turn lane. Upon, further examination I discover the entrance ramp is NOT at a 45degree angle. More like 30 with a telephone pole in the near corner. So, I will just back up and ease over to the right to get plenty of room for my trailer to make the swing. DAMN, where did all these cars come from???? I cant move!!! Completely surrounded and blocking the entire intersection. Then it happens. A 21 Horn Salute being performed in my honor. Windows lowered and solitary fingers displayed just for me.... Angry shouts.... It only took about 5 minutes to rectify this little predicament, (New Yorkers seem to bore easily) But not before I was actually applauded by the two gentlemen on the corner who moments before were loudly expressing their doubts in my ability to "Git R Done" Oh yea of little faith...

So, I have now been officially welcomed by the NYC Hospitality Committee. You know, I was beginning to feel a little neglected.....

The One That Got Away

Over the past four years, I have developed quite a fondness for one particular route to the NorthEast. I-85,I-77,I-81. The I-77 stretch is very scenic. At the Virginia-North Carolina state line you begin an ascent to Fancy Gap, Va. This is a 7 mile climb to an elevation of over 2000 ft.

Last week I was a bit surprised to find some new scenery to look at. Now, I myself have never had any problems with the descent. However, there are 3 runaway truck ramps strategically located on the down hill swing for anyone experiencing brake failure. These ramps are clearly marked to alert the truck drivers.

The descent is only a 4 1/2% grade, so I was a little surprised to find it had been used.

My only concern is that the ramp fell short of its intended use. The truck should have sank into the gravel bed long before reaching the top.

Oh, did I mention the fine you are entitled to pay having used this escape route. I hear tell that it is in excess of $15,000. Hope I never have to find out.

One last thing, If you are ever driving down a hill and notice a big truck smoking pretty bad. Might I suggest staying as far away as possible. It could possibly catch fire because the brakes are overheating. This could potentially lead to brake failure, loss of control and 8oK of unstoppable destruction.